Dear Ludacris,

I really, really, really love you. I also really love your music...even the "dirty" stuff. Sometimes I call you "Luda" when I'm talking about you with my roommates. I tell them I know you so well that we are on half-name basis. Yeah, my love for you is that strong. Thing is...I know you don't really disrespect women, though some your music states otherwise. You even have your own foundation for kids. If you could only come to Minnesota and perhaps marry me. Would that be at all possible? Shh, don't tell my boyfriend. Our marriage would be purely so that you can sing "Runaway Love" to me everyday...and maybe a few other songs as well.